I literally hadn't been in a store in probably over a month, until last weekend.
I sometimes think it is anxiety/depression/all of the above.
Other times, I think it is just me. Who I am.
I don't really feel depressed, I actually think I am a pretty positive person.
I know that I have anxiety issues but, not enough to not want to leave the house. Not even enough to be medicated (maybe I should look into this?).
I have these 3 wonderful kids, that I have to leave 5 days a week.
On my time off, they are who I want to be with.
I have a couple of friends, people who have known me for years.
They get me.
They love me and don't get mad when I cancel or don't text back for a couple of hours.
They just get me.
I guess, a couple friends who get me and accept me are all I care to have.
I honestly, have zero desire to impress, and or engage anyone else right now.
I suppose, that's not a great outlook.
I should be more social.
I should care more.
I really need to be a better friend.
I need to branch out and make the effort to make plans.
I should really get the kids to have more play dates. I don't want them to end up like me...
NO.
NOPE.
NO.
I am, who I am. I am honest to a slight fault. This "season" of motherhood is the greatest "season" in my life.
I really feel like...I don't want to be all the things, for all the people.
I want to be, all the things, for my kids.
The only thing I should do more of, is love my kids and my time with them.
This life is short. Our days are not promised. Each adventure, each hug and kiss, each head on my shoulder are what I live and breath for.
I don't think I am depressed, I don't think I have an anxiety problem.
I think, that I am just in the depths of this "season of motherhood." And, I am gonna stay and swim around in it for awhile.
Cheers to not feeling guilty!
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