Donuts for Dinner

It's 8:25 on a Friday night, I have worked a full week, the house is in order-ish, laundry is almost caught up, Dad is at a football game, the dogs are chasing each other around the room, and you are sleeping upstairs.

I am eating donuts for dinner. I made myself dinner when I fed you, but that dinner ended up being some of your dinner, and then sitting and getting cold. I can't really even complain, because as you probably know by now, I love sweets! This isn't all bad.

Being an adult is hard---not the donuts for dinner part...that's a perk. I feel like I am constantly being pulled in 80 different directions all day. I feel like I am missing people, I am neglecting things, and just all around I can't do it all. Sometimes, "I just need a break"...

Tomorrow I am supposed to have this "break".  I am supposed to go and do something for me...
The thing is, there are nearly 10 things I can think of that need done here-instead. There are like 5 people I should spend this time with-instead. Not to mention the 100 things I could go and work on at work-instead...

It feels like my days and the hours in my days are literally flying by. I can't keep up. But then again, I don't know what mom out there actually can.

I go to work and actually enjoy having my job. (Guilt)
I come home from work and one of you is happy to see me and the other one wants Grammy or the babysitter. (Guilt)
I am home with you all weekend and we have treats and do fun things, am I spoiling you? (Guilt)
I try to be with you and get things done around the house, and then I worry I am not spending enough time on one or the other. (Guilt)

Balancing this life we live is hard.


But,
You are healthy.
You are happy.
We just bought a great new house.
I love my job.
I love your Dad.
We have a great supportive family, who loves us.
We have super friends.
And we have you to make it all that much better!

I would have begged for this life over 2 years ago now, and I can't forget about how thankful I am for the chaos. I do need breaks for myself and will take mine tomorrow for all of us. Someday you will want breaks from this life too, I just hope that'll be a loooooooong time from now, and that it won't be because you are unhappy with your life. I hope it will be because you are overwhelmed with how wonderfully full your life is, like me.

Everything I take for granted each day someone else is wishing that they had. I am grateful beyond measure.

I promise to eat donuts for dinner with you and try to cherish this short life as long as I can with you.

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Donuts for Dinner