It seems that each month has gotten "easier" for different reasons. We are on a schedule, we sleep through the night, we are able to get out a bit more... the list goes on.
At the beginning I remember how painfully exhausted and clueless I was. These have both changed, but I am still tired and most likely still clueless...
The exhaustion isn't truly from a lack of sleep anymore; the girls have been great sleepers since about 4 months. This exhaustion is from trying to be teacher by day, mom and wife by night. By the time I lay down at night it seems that days have gone by even though it has only been a measly 12 hours...
11 months ago, I prayed for the day that 12 hours would pass and that I could be a teacher, mom, and wife again, not just a mom. I was exhausted. I was clueless. I had no idea what this "motherhood" thing had in store for me.
I remember telling Josh, that I craved pulling the covers over my head and laying down in my bed-just like I craved for food while pregnant.
I am still exhausted, and I still crave that rest but, it's different.
Sometimes I am jealous of the single young girls I see at the store. They seem to have no schedule, no care in the world...
Do you know what I would give to not have a schedule, or care, and to be able to take a nap any stinking time I wanted?
I was clueless as to how two little girls could change my world and my priorities.
I was clueless to what it meant to be "tired".
I was clueless to what it meant to love.
I was clueless to what it meant to be a Mom.
11 months and I am still trying to figure it out. Each day brings on change, and we change with it.
Ava will soon be receiving PT for her hips and gross motor skills. When filling out her paperwork, the last question was,"what is your favorite thing about your child?" I kind of thought this was a trick question... I simply put; "Ava's temperament is so sweet and gentle, she brings joy to anyone who is around her."
Ella is movin' and groovin' like always. I see walking in her very near future. Ella is our little hurricane baby, she keeps us on our toes and reminds us to laugh!
I might miss being one of those young girls who has no cares, but if I was still one of them I'd never know all the joy you bring me and that just wouldn't do... <3
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