Marriage is great; hard but, great. Josh and I may have been married for 5 years but, we have been together since we were both in high school. We've gone through a lot of different "phases" in our relationship over all of that time. We had a lot of growing up to do when we started, and we ended up growing up together. Sometimes I think those years were harder than anything we've dealt with in marriage!
Through all of the years of being with Josh, I can honestly say that I wouldn't go back and reverse anything. Although love is not always pretty, and relationships aren't always rainbows and sunshine; we've been lucky to have more rainbows and sunshine than most, especially since being married. We work really well together in the sense of truly being partners. We both do not like confrontation so we fight rarely, and communicate impeccably. We find our best friends in each other and truly enjoy spending time with the other. We laugh a lot and say I love you even more.
I know, I know, you are thinking how is this not a mushy post? It totally is!
No, no I promise you it isn't.
Here it comes...
Having kids completely changes what marriage is! We were told that many times before the girls got here. I know I thought, "no it won't change us, we are different, we work well together, and never fight!" WRONG, WRONG, WRONG, I was so wrong! One baby changes a marriage, add two with colic, that both didn't sleep for 4 months! Everything changed. Everything is still changing as we adjust to these new wonderful additions in our life.
When babies come home, you expect there to be sleepless nights, you expect crying, and all of that. What you don't expect is for you (I) to loose your mind! ;-) I wanted to do it all, I was the only one who knew what my babies needed. (Not true, I had no clue) Notice all of the I's, yeah no we. I was trying to do it all. I wanted Josh to sleep so he could go to work, so I would go like 3 days with maybe 5 hours of sleep total. Then I would totally loose it and yell at Josh and make him feel terrible for not helping. See the problem is, when you tell someone one thing, and do another it's super confusing, they don't know what to do to make you happy. This was basically the first 3 months of the girls lives.
But Meghan you said you guys communicated well...
Yeah, that's what I thought. But when you spend literally maybe 30 minutes of awake time with each other, very little communicating is happening. Thankfully my sweet Josh came home one day and said, "we have to figure this out, you need to let me help you, I want to help you." (Maybe the sweetest words he's ever uttered to me ;-)) We also thought that it would be no big deal for Josh to play softball, work all day, and go back to school at night. Clearly that was not working, or fair to me or our relationship. Josh quickly decided to quit softball this year, and do as many classes online as he could. He is our saving grace, always has been and always will be.
I am not gonna lie things are still hard, trying to balance life, marriage, and babies, but everything is slowly falling in place. Isn't that what life is all about though, finding a balance, and putting the most important things first?
Well, we are doing our best, and these next 5 years of marriage are going to be an "adventure" that's for sure but, I wouldn't want to be going on this adventure with anyone else. Our relationship is not perfect, nor has it ever been but, it is strong! You're my constant Joshy, I love and appreciate you more than ever, and am so glad you promised me your forever 5 years ago!
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